DICTATED TO RM
C3: Thoughts on superheroes, geek culture and the length of Chris Hemsworth’s thighs.
C4: Early draft of “The Cauliflower Conundrum.” This gripping tale of passion and agricultural intrigue served as the primary inspiration for Caulis: The Motion Picture.
WRITTEN IN FULFILLMENT OF PROPHECY
JJ: Thoughts on race. Extended meditations on blackness, brownness and whiteness, with supplementary remarks on yellowness and transparency.
K1: The Alejandro Codex. Thirteen paragraphs on the death of music, followed by forty-two paragraphs on pop’s resurrection and its second coming in glory.
PARTIALLY PLAGIARISED FROM THE LETTERS OF PLINY THE YOUNGER
V2: Throwing a Javelin from Horseback and Other Methods of Dispatching One’s Ideological Opponents When Rational Argument Proves Ineffective.
V6: “Make No Secret of Thine Evil Ways,” a letter written by LV to his cousin, appointed special adviser to the Governor of Bayelsa State in June 2014.
WRITTEN WHILE ON FIRE
L21: Corbyn, The Musical.
ENDORSED BY THIRD WORLD DICTATORS
F5: Commentary on Sun Tzu and Clausewitz. Essays on the art of winning cooking competitions by subterfuge and cunning.
F8: The Haringey Notebook, containing LV’s celebrated poems, “Ode to Mugabe’s Moustache” and “The Devilfish Sonnet.” The latter famously begins, “Shall I compare thee to a manta ray?”
WRITTEN IN SANSKRIT
M1: The Molly Manuscript. 217 sheets of printing paper covered in undecipherable text.
[Editor’s note: Lucas can neither read nor write Sanskrit. M1 is written in what some scholars have charitably called a language of his own devising and others have, perhaps less charitably, called gibberish.]
FOUND PINNED TO RM’S ROTTING CORPSE
C9: Further thoughts on the disposition of CH’s limbs, the consistency of his internal organs and the energy efficiency of industrial freezers.